I suppose my initial feeling was dread...actually I'd be lying if I said there still wasn't some residual feelings of that nature.
And since I crossed the state line I am constantly being reminded of every reason I have not been back until now.
Too poor to afford a facility...professional help. Too poor to afford much of anything really...save the essentials, and even those were in short supply at times. But things were still manageable back then. Not any more, not now.
I used to play here. Pretend I was somewhere...anywhere else. My dreams were big and not to be thwarted. I could not be stopped. Yet here I am back at square one. I know this not permanent. It's just a temporary set back. But I never thought I would be here again.
Its falling apart to say the least. It always was, but its some how managed to become more dilapidated than ever. The extensive junk collection litters the property. I feel like I've stepped into a junk yard.
My thought behind this entire blog was centered around a couple of pictures. Both were taken in the same place by me while on a visit to Indiana to see my 95 year old great uncle. I wanted to keep things simple because that's the way life is there. I went in the middle of winter so I didn't want to use any vibrant colors to keep true to the general feel of winter days in the country in Indiana. My narrative, though I am not particularly proud of it is based loosely on what it was like seeing my uncle in such a fragile worn down state, and the over all state of his home. It had been some time since I had been there. I grew up visiting for a week ever summer but it had been a few years and with his declining health things had gone down hill to say the least. Obviously the story has been adapted to not be a memoir but the inspiration came from real life events none the less.
ReplyDeleteI thought this post was incredibly thought provoking and clever. Everything seemed to tie together and flow really well and I felt like your feelings and expressions were very relatable to everyone at some point and time. I also think the photo you chose was a great one-- not only did it exemplify the fact that everything was “dead and cold” and also the idea of being on the road and traveling across state lines, etc. I also like that you divided your post up by paragraph, as the segments were easy to follow. I would have liked to see a different background color or pattern than just white throughout; I think it would add some emphasis to your text. I especially enjoyed your last line “I feel like I’ve stepped into a junk yard,” and I think you had a perfect balance of imagery and prose throughout your writing. One thing I’m unsure of is why exactly you’re back at “square one.” I’m not saying you need to include a ton of characters or a crazy extensive plot line, but I think I would have had a greater understanding on the emphasis of your feelings had there been a more elaborate explanation; why are you back there? Who are you staying with? What are some vivid memories from your past that would make me hate it as much as you do, etc.
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